For centuries, it was unheard of, that black people would go to a therapy session. Or to see a shrink as some would like to put it. The black communities therapist was the prayer line or going to talk to your pastor about your problems; but what was so wrong about going to see a therapist?
I’m not sure what the problem was back then. I believe for most people they figured if they didn’t dwell on the situation that their problems would just fade away like dust in the air. I suspect that’s why they’re so many generational curses in the black community as well as hurt and unforgiveness that hang over many of our heads. No one has taken the time to talk things out in order to gain a clearer understanding of what has transpired in their lives. Past hurts, depressions, secrets, shames, and faults have all been swept under the rug. I could also say that money has probably played some part in the fact that black people hasn’t always been willing to see a therapist. Which is understandable.
Whether a person decides to visit a therapist or not, it is often great to have someone you can talk to without judgement. Which is something you may encounter when trying to talk to a friend or family member about whatever it is that you may be going through.
I talked briefly about the time I decided to go visit a therapist after a terrible breakup in THIS post. For me, I wanted an outsider to give me their unbiased opinion about my situation. I wanted to figure out where things went wrong and where I went wrong. I didn’t want to feel ashamed or bad for the way that I was feeling. I also didn’t want the dreaded “I told you so” from my family or friends. It just wasn’t the time for all of that. So I went to a therapist without anyone knowing. Within only a few sessions I was feeling better and more confident about myself and my situation. I felt at peace and hopeful.
Having someone to vent to is almost a necessity in today’s life. Whether, it’s a family member, a friend, or a therapist. Or someone you don’t really know but they are able to give you effective feedback and advice. I remember as if it was yesterday, being at work and just sitting at my desk crying. I suddenly heard a lady, that I did not know at the time, and who had no idea why I was so upset, speaking to me giving me the most sound advice. From that day forward we’ve had a number of one-on-one sessions and I consider her to be a great friend. I refer to her now as my Iyanla Vanzant. She can give it to you straight with no chaser and can sense when something isn’t right with you.
It’s also important to know that when a person gives you effective feedback it is usually not what you want to hear. That’s how you know it’s real. It’s up to you at that point if you are willing to accept it.
At times, I think we all need tools for processing life as well as an outside perspective on very important and personal subject matters; which we can gain these tools from a therapist or from someone who has traveled in your same shoes.
If you find yourself unable to go to a therapist, you may know or be able to find someone who is willing to give you a listening ear or great feedback. Today, you can even find a licensed therapist through apps and have chatting sessions. It is important to not let situations escalate or build up especially if those situations can cause more damage down the line. Life is too short.
My motto is to Live my life in Peace; and not Pieces!