In my opinion, one of the worst things that we can do, at any age, is to believe that something will not or cannot happen to us. These “things” either being negative or positive. For example, a person thinking that they will never be pulled over by the police or a person believing they will never get married.
It’s one thing to be confident, but we should never become too arrogant or ignorant. This is coming from someone who has trotted in the footsteps of such ignorance. It is hard for me to speak candidly to you without having already gone through the test which is why I speak to you openly from experience and even more from my heart.
I remember being in college, away from home, just enjoying life and telling myself that I’ll never get pregnant. It was one of those situations where I felt that becoming pregnant would never happen to me. I couldn’t see myself with a child. Not because I was on some type of birth control, because to be honest with you, I wasn’t. Nor was I abstinent during this time. But it was because I was being ignorant (for thinking that it could never happen to me) and irresponsible (for not taking the necessary precautions to prevent it).
If you are assuming that I became pregnant during my college years, you are correct. I was in a five-year program at Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) because the indecisive me couldn’t make up my mind on what I wanted to declare as a major. During my 4th year at VCU I became pregnant. I was so close to the end but yet I had just set myself back.
When I found out that I was pregnant I felt so foolish and irresponsible. My parents were paying for me to go to school to get an education; but instead I was getting pregnant. How do you call home to relay this message? Eventually you just have to do it and hope that it goes over well.
After that dreaded phone call home, I chose to leave school in order to create a more stable and solid foundation for my soon to be daughter. Although, I had my own place at the time, I also shared the apartment with 3 other people and had 3 part-time jobs plus I was juggling school. I knew then that I wanted better for myself and my daughter. I tend to chase stability so going home was the best option for me, but that also meant that my education would be placed on the back burner.
Once I had my daughter I knew that going back to school was on my to-do list. I was too close to not finish. At the time, VCU did not offer online courses which lead me into looking into other schools to complete my degree. I no longer had the “luxury” of staying in a dorm or in the same city that MY school resided in. I was now 2.5 hours away.
After some time and effort, and a bunch of back and forth calls and emails between the schools and myself, I had my credits transferred to Hampton University. This new adventure would consist of me completing my classes online, while being a mother and working full-time. Was this the ideal way of obtaining a degree from college? No! But this was the path that I was now on. I could have had it much easier by just going to school but typically for every action there is a reaction and a consequence. Having to juggle school, being a mom, and work all at the same time was my consequence. This is why at the very end of each blog my bio states that I attended VCU but graduated from Hampton University.
My graduation at the time was delayed but it was not denied. My daughter turns 14 this month and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. You also know by now that I did graduate with my Bachelor of Arts degree. Did everything happen the way I thought it would? Not at all! But it has taught me to never think that I am exempt from anything especially if I have not taken all of the precautionary steps.
The moral of this story is to, NEVER Say Never and to know, that often times we may be delayed but we are NOT denied! Your blessing should never be a regret.
—-Never mind me, sometimes I just preach to myself!!
If you know someone who may be going through this same experience or if this person is you, please reach out to me. I would love to be a part of your/their support team.